Intruder alert

Yesterday started out with great promise. I walked the dog and worked out. Then, the intrusive thoughts started. In my experience with OCD, obsessions arise slowly. It begins when an idea enters my mind and then plants itself there. It’s like having an uninvited guest walk into your house, plop down on the couch, seize the remote, and change the channel to something you have absolutely no interest in but, for reasons you cannot explain, feel compelled to watch. For the next four hours.

I spent yesterday watching four hours of I don’t even know what. I just know that I couldn’t concentrate on anything that I wanted to focus on. The feelings that accompany episodes like this are shame and failure. When I have a day like yesterday, I try to bring myself back to the acceptance of the great paradox of mental health resilience. I know that it is raining and I know that the sun will come out.

3 Comments

  1. Are you familiar with the “Spoon theory” of chronic illness? (Google and wiki are your friends if you haven’t heard of it)

    Anyway, reading your recent posts I just want to send you these:
    🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

    Like

  2. That comment was from me, Harriet L Culver (HLC), formerly from Christ & St Stephen’s, who apparently registered with WordPress using an old username.

    Like

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