Old habits

I’m tired. It’s no mystery why. I haven’t been sleeping as much as I know I need to be. A lot of my last therapy session was focused on making changes to my evening routine to get to bed earlier and wind myself down so I can sleep well. I know better, but I haven’t yet chosen to do better.

It’s not a problem yet. It will become one soon.

Falling back into old habits and familiar patterns is easy. These behaviors are established and comfortable even if they don’t yield the outcomes we want.

What’s different about my experience this time is that I’m recognizing what’s happening in the moment, acknowledging it, and holding myself accountable for changing what I’m doing. Before, I would never admit out loud that I was “failing” (which I’m not, but that’s how Jerk Brain presents it to me). I would try to push through as if I had no choice but to accept what I was doing to myself.

The awareness is growth. The follow through is actually changing my behavior. I’m still a work in progress and the work is getting done.

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