Push back

I remember a conversation with a former executive coach of mine about 4 years ago. He identified boundaries as an area of growth and development for me, namely setting and maintaining them. Frankly, I wasn’t ready for that. I was mired in the first step of boundary setting: identification.

At the time, I didn’t understand what a boundary was and conflated it with an ultimatum. Over time and with the patient tutelage of a fellow consulting psychologist, I’ve come to understand that boundaries have everything to do with me rather than the other person. A boundary is my commitment to chose a behavior that is healthy for me when confronted with actions that are not. In other words, the other person is free to continue their behavior if they choose, but I am not required to subject myself to it.

Even with practice and tools gained through therapy, it is still hard. And still, I hold the line.