Unlike a physical injury, like a broken bone, there is no scan or test that can be performed to determine healing from major depression. Instead, you have to go off of more intangible elements, like feelings, perception, and emotion. For the first time in a very long time, I feel fully engaged with my life. I’m excited about the future and interested in actively participating in the present.
Given that I’m not currently showing symptoms of depression, my psychiatrist and I decided today to take the next step in my medication taper and go down to 150mg of Wellbutrin once every other day. The drug only comes in two doses and both are extended release, meaning that cutting them in half will not guarantee an equal split of medication and could even potentially produce severe, possibly deadly, side effects. The safest option is to go with the every-other-day method.
We will continue on this course for the next two weeks and then, if all continues to go well, make a decision about whether I try to come off the medication completely. It’s such a slow process, but it’s important that it be. Onward.