Yesterday, I caught up with two different colleagues, one over a half-hour call in the morning and the other at lunch. When I got home in the early afternoon, I was completely exhausted. My mind was spent from the effort of meaningfully engaging with other people. This outcome baffles me because, as an undeniable extrovert, I get my energy from my relationships and interactions with other people.
Something similar happened in Australia two weeks ago. After the conference I was attending ended, I went to Melbourne for a few days to see friends. The first two days, I took a series of long naps. It was frustrating, because the weather was lovely for Melbourne Summer (meaning that it only hailed one day I was there) and I wanted to spend time outside or at least visiting places I enjoy, like the art gallery. Instead, I was inside asleep. It was different than the exhaustion I know from jet lag. This was fatigue from forcing myself to exhibit energy, maintaining an appearance so others will perceive me the way I want them to. I’m a naturally energetic person. The word I’ve most often heard to describe me is passionate. Right now, projecting what I consider to be my usual self requires a lot of effort. It’s tiring. It’s also, as I’ve come to know, unnecessary.
As I was discussing this phenomenon with my psychiatrist, she noted that it’s possible that I’m still in the major depressive episode. We won’t know for sure until I’m off all the medication. It is a relief to be away from my regular job at the moment, because I can sense the toll being “on” all the time would take on me. I’m also frustrated, because I feel so unlike who I know myself to be. The other thing I’ve realized is that my instinct to cover up and minimize is remains acute.
Others may be willing to take me as I am, but somehow, I’m still not.
From history major, with side quests in Medieval Studies and chemical engineering, to nonprofit finance leader, Big 4 tax partner, technologist, researcher, and now co-founder of Divine, nothing about my career has been linear. The throughline has always been systems: financial systems, organizational systems, technological systems, and human systems. I have an MBA in Operations and Supply Chain Management and a PhD in Organizational Leadership Psychology, and I’ve spent my career trying to understand how complex systems shape people’s choices, opportunities, wellbeing, and sense of belonging. Today, my work sits at the intersection of psychology, technology, human-centered design, and digital trust. I am co-founder of Divine, an open-source, decentralized social video app built to put creativity back in human hands and replace doomscrolling with joyscrolling. Divine is part of a bigger question I care deeply about: how do we create online spaces that support safety, creativity, identity, and belonging without defaulting to surveillance, extraction, or control? At Divine, I wear a lot of hats across engineering, finance, operations, and strategy, while helping shape the app’s trust, safety, and values work. I focus especially on teen online safety, human-generated content, participatory design, and healthier relationships with technology. I am a postdoctoral alum of Vanderbilt University’s Department of Computer Science, where I worked with Dr. Pam Wisniewski’s Socio-Technical Interaction Research Lab. I continue to write, speak, and research at the intersection of online safety, digital trust, decentralized technology, and youth wellbeing. I was named a Distinguished Fellow at the Institute for Data Integrity in 2023. In 2025, I had the honor of serving as President of Division 13 of the American Psychological Association, the Society of Consulting Psychology. I also live with major depressive disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In 2020, I took a leave from PwC to focus on my mental wellness, and I now speak and write openly about mental health, especially in the workplace and in relation to digital wellbeing. This blog, Seriously Jerk Brain, chronicles much of that journey.
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Seriously, Jerk Brain?! 