An unexpected side effect of returning to work after a year away is that I am retelling my story, sometimes multiple times a day, to people who knew I was on leave but didn’t necessarily know why. As I’ve shared the arc of my journey thus far, beginning with my descent into the major depressive episode in 2018, through to my lowest point in November 2019, to my development and growth over the last year, I’ve noticed something.
Many of the statements I’m making, about recognizing that my job is not my identity and that my revenue (or whatever financial metric is currently being scrutinized) does not equate to my worth as a human being, I have made before. However, until now, I didn’t mean them. I’d speak them out loud, but I didn’t really believe what I was saying. Now, I do. The transformation isn’t in what I say but rather what it means to me. As I say these things again and again, I notice that my conviction increases along with my confidence.
It’s growth. And, I mean that.